Last Reflection of 2009

As we approach the end of 2009 we may be experiencing an array of emotions.  Many people are experiencing a sense of relief the year is over and want to get rid of all those unfortunate things that happened to them in the year.  Some of these things may have been under their control, some may have not.

Nevertheless, everybody wants to start the year fresh, more light, and with great attitude.

Being a great believer of rituals (an action which has meaning) I bring to you some suggestions you can use at anytime, but especially if you want to do a special ritual as the year ends:Write on a piece of paper something that happened in 2009 that you don’t want in your life and burn it.   Visualize balloons taking away the things you don’t want in your life in 2010. Forgive yourself and others for mistakes or wrong actions made in 2009 Write down the things that happened in 2009 that you didn’t like but that you had control over them and….plan to take action for 2010! I wish you and your family many blessings for 2010! Ligia/09

Sharing Special Times

As we approach Christmas many people are running around shopping, getting the best deals, and running around without taking the time to think what does this mean in reality. That present that you are buying...do you "have to buy it" or do you "want to buy it"?
In some cases it may be that you feel you "must" buy something for that person...but even then, make the choice to wanting to buy something that person would like, and the whole perspective will change.  The value of a present is not on how much it costs but how much interest we invest in acquiring it.

Remember, it may have more value a box of chocolate than.....well, an expensive piece of jewerly if this was not bought and given with sentiment.

In anything you do.. show you care...

Happy Holidays!

Ligia/09

This is the Season...

We have officially started the Holiday Season.  Are you in the spirit?  What does it mean really?  To feel like going shopping, celebrating, or reflecting on what this means?

As we go out and see all the ornaments, we may feel nostalgia if we are not "in the mood," or joy if we love Christmas.  This is just a response to an external stimuli. What matters most is to know what is going inside of us to make us feel that way.  Take a pad and pen and write down what you are experiencing.  How are you feeling? What are you thinking that makes you feel that way?

The more in touch you are with your feelings the more awareness you have of yourself.

Despite  how you think or feel...remember you can always change your thoughts to something that, even in the midst of pain or sorrow, can bring a smile to your face.  In my case....I think about my elder mom, who is 90.

It always bring a sweet and loving memory...

Have a blessed Holiday Season!

Ligia/09

After Thanksgiving...

Now that we celebrated Thanksgiving, I hope we don't forget to continue giving thanks.

We officially start the Holiday Season, and it can get very busy and demanding between our personal and professional affairs. Things to do, time to share, gifts to buy.

Still....the greatest gift we can give to others is the gift of love and care. How can we do this? Well...showing how much we care with our time, our presence and our attention.

These days can feel overwhelming and stressful but let's don't allow these emotions to get to us. Let's take a moment and observe our thoughts. Then let's refocus them to someone of something that brings joy to your life....and be grateful for that.

Your feeling will change immediately, and you will truly enjoy the Holidays...

Happy and Blessed Holidays!

Ligia/09

The Power of Gratitude

Back in September I wrote about being grateful but because in a few days we will be celebrating Thanksgiving. This is a special day to give thanks and share with family and friends.

Now, why to wait until that day to be grateful for what we have? Every day should be an opportunity to give thanks for what we have. I suggest making a list of 20 things you can give thanks for, starting for the small things...then you move to the most meaningful ones. In times of difficulties, keep in mind those things you have in your life and be grateful....it could even change your perpective on the situation you are facing.

 

Remember that if we focus on what we still have instead of what we are missing, we can have a better and happier life.

 

Have a beautiful and happy Thanksgiving!

Ligia/09

The Power of Transformation

Because this coming week is a special day as I launch the book "Transform your Loss. Your Guide to Strength and Hope" on November 11th, the day of my father's death anniversary, made me ponder on the power of transformation and how much we can do with just shifting our attitude, our thoughts and therefore, our actions.

When something unexpected happens to us, being the death of a loved one, loss of health, job, divorce, finances....or any other difficult transition, we experience great pain (we grieve), and sometimes we stay in that place for a long time...not doing anything about it.

This reminds me of the words of Zig Ziglar when he says that we cannot change what happens to us, but what we can still choose what we do about it....we can choose to stay in a dark place, stagnated, not growing, or take that situation, find meaning in it, and transform it into an opportunity of either spiritual growth or personal strength.
The transformation can take time, but it starts with accepting the loss or situation in an intellectually and emotional manner.

In the following posts, we will continue elaborating on this journey...

Have a beautiful day,

Ligia/09

Keep Focused

Following the same subject matter, in order to stay committed we need to be focused on what we want to achieve or become. Nowadays this task could be somewhat challenging taking into account the many projects we may get involved with, so many stimuli we receive at a daily basis, and trying to keep up with our social interactions, being in person or virtual.

So, how do we keep focused?

• First, prioritizing what is important to us.


• Second, preparing an action plan on what we need to focus on.


• Third, implementing a schedule in order to allow time to focus on what is important, disregarding distractions for the selected time


• Fourth, continuously revising if we are concentrating on our commitment,


• Fifth, acknowledging to yourself how good you feel in achieving what you committed to and continue planning for the following step on your action plan.

Before you know it....you will realize what you have been focusing on...and you will feel really, really good with yourself!

Have a beautiful week-end,

Ligia/09

Stay Committed

As I write this post I realize how long it has been since my last message, and it had to do with a lack of discipline to write on a regular base, because I was taking care of previous commitments.

I found this reflection insightful because once more I came to the conclusion that we shouldn't commit to several things at the same time, unless we are sure they do not conflict with one another.

Now, before I say I will commit to something, including writing on my blog, I will pay close attention to what is possible and realistically doable.

Do you find yourself committing to things you may not do at the end? What has prevented you for making this happen? Unexpected situations or.....lack of enthusiasm or purpose?

Write on a paper five things you have committed to do in the last three months. Did you do what you said you would? Take a pause and reflect....and then, make a commitment you know you will be able to maintain.

Have a beautiful day,

Ligia/09

Does Acceptance mean Passivity?

In my book Transform your Loss. Your Guide to Strength and Hope I say that "Acceptance" is the first principle in order to transform your transition or loss.
Some people have asked me, "So, does this mean I just have to accept with resignation?"

I have responded that to accept is to acknowledge the situation one is facing (even if it is very painful or difficult) and observe it, without judgment. It does not necessarily mean one approves it, but that one knows what the reality is.

I find great value in the serenity prayer as it starts with accepting what one cannot change. It all depends on our own attitude. And sometimes it is trough a crisis that we have the opportunity to grow personally and spiritually. So...accept the situation you are facing and then choose what to do about it.

For those of you who don't know how the serenity prayer is, I share it with you the first, and most known, paragraph:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

Have a beautiful day,

Ligia/09

Is it easy to be grateful?

Continuing with our last comment I want to explore how easy it is in reality to be grateful. Let’s start by saying that when things are going great, well….it is so easy to be grateful!  And…when things go wrong? As we face a crisis, a difficult transition….or even a loss?  Does it come naturally to feel and express gratitude?  It is not…if we focus only on what has happened to us or what we don’t have in our lives….but if we reframe our perspective, if we change the filter and focus on the things we STILL have, then, we can experience gratitude.

I teach an online class on Ethics and weekly I meet with my students to discuss different issues. Before we start our seminar, I ask them to share with the rest of the class something they feel grateful for that happened to them the previous week.  Furthermore, before starting this practice (which is extra-curriculum) I ask them if they want to do it…to my amazement and joy, it is universal the desire to take those minutes and share their gratitude.

So, what if you start changing the filter from what you don’t have or miss….to what you still have in your life?

What do you have? How many people in your life you feel grateful for?  From which situations have you learned that now you can be grateful for?   Take a moment and think about it…then write them down.

If you do this practice every single day, you will notice a HUGE change in your life…

Have a beautiful day,

Ligia/09

How to develop Spiritual Strength

In the first post I mentioned some of the internal resources we have and how we can make use of them as we face a transition or loss.  In this post I would like to talk about our spiritual strength. Notice I am not referring to a particular  religious belief or denomination (although this also helps) but to our spiritual essence.  When we focus on our spiritual strength we learn to live more in the now and on being instead or having or doing. We become aware of our essence as human beings and what brings us peace and tranquility.  We act from a space filled with faith and hope, which are resources we will develop in our next post.

If we want to develop our spiritual strength we can also learn to live more in a state of gratitude and forgiveness, which are two vital tools that bring joy to our lives.

Now….I ask you….Are you grateful?  Do you appreciate your life on a daily basis? Do you express your gratitude?

Have a beautiful day,

Ligia/09

Transforming Our Transitions

We all go through life transitions and it depends on us how we take them.  Do we use our resources or we complain about what has happened to us?

When I coach  or counsel with people who may be  facing a loss, one of the greatest issues I encounter is that they are not  aware of the great resources they have inside themselves to face their situation and to even transform it.

Some of these resources are spiritual strength, hope, faith, and personal awareness. The more we remain in touch with our inner self the greater the possibility to use those valuable tools and find some meaning and growth in our transition.

Have a beautiful day,

Ligia/09

Tus resoluciones para el 2009

Siendo el primer mensaje del blog y apenas comenzando el 2009 encuentro ideal el que compartas que deseas lograr este ano. Acaso alguna meta a nivel personal? profesional? social?

A que le encuentras proposito en tu vida?

Te deseo muchas bendiciones para el 2009!

Ligia/09